Wednesday, March 28, 2012

What My Father Meant to Me

This is an extremely personal post and not about writing or anything like that this time. It's about my father, who passed away two years to the day today...

My father was a very unique man. He was talented, thoughtful, loving and kind. He was a teacher, a poet, a gambler and a musician. He was a provider, a rock, and a humorist. He was full of patience and knowledge and laughter and love. I don’t mean all of these titles in their most literal sense; rather, he took on those roles for my family, friends and anyone else he came into contact with, for that matter. He taught me right from wrong and to take responsibility for my actions. And on top of it all, he would give the shirt off his back to someone in need.

My father is one of the main reasons I pursued writing and have continued to for the last two years. My Father passed away on March 28th of 2010. After dealing with that and continuing through with my education at the time, I shifted my ‘free’ time from gaming to writing. After we got my Mother to a point where she was able to function again, I began penning my first novel.

You see, he was a musician, a pianist to be specific…and a talented one at that. But, he did not pursue his passion after he started the family. I feel as though it may have left him wanting for something, though he never spoke of it. With that in mind, I decided a few months after he passed, to give my writing the best effort that I could gather. If he taught me one thing, it is to do whatever you choose to do and do it well. I pursue my craft with his legacy and words echoing in my mind from time to time. More often than not, it is enough to prod me on through self doubt or discouragement, in order to be the best writer that I can be.

My father was, and is my hero to this day, and I miss him very much. The passing of time does very little to numb the pain of the missing and beloved patriarch of our family.

All the best, Pop. Here is a little poem I wrote for him that I wanted to share with you all here if you don't mind. If you have lost a loved one, maybe you can think of him or her when you read it.

Missing you, Dad….

The feelings I have of missing you are hard to set to word

Your guidance, voice and laughter, still longing to be heard

I try to carry on, your words and deeds still in my heart

It doesn't seem to ring of truth that in this life we'll be apart

The memories of you remain, and true that new ones can’t be made

Yet I carry on with your teachings in mind, those lessons never fade

I’d do anything to have you here, to share the times you've missed

But remembrances will sure suffice, for there are so many to list

I know we did not get to share as many times as most

But what we had I treasure dearly, and I will often toast

I look to the time when we meet again, for this life we only lease

We all miss you very much from here, and I hope you have found peace

See you in Wothlondia....

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  1. Nice Gary and written very well. Dad would be proud! I feel you having lost my dad in 2006. The one thing that stood out for me with regard to my dad was his ability to "enjoy the day" and "Be Happy to be able to live it" . He viewed life not as an accumulation of things but as an opportunity to have some fun and enjoy the family and his friends as much as possible. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Parents have the greatest effect of all on any of us. I am sure that your father had as much love and pride for you as you displayed for him here.

  3. Rick and Olene, thanks so much for stopping by to share comments!

    Rick, thanks for the kind words. Those inspirational quotes are enough to put a smile on my face. I am happy for you that you have wonderful memories of your father and glad you shared them with us today.

    Olene, thanks for putting things in perspective for me and you make me grateful that I even had parents to mourn and love.

    In closing, even though I lost my father after 66 wonderful years, there are so many of us out there that never even had a father in their lives to lose and/or lost a loved one at a young age, etc. So, in my case, I feel blessed to have even had that much time to enjoy my father's company. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us here. All the best!

  4. Awesome stuff Gary. Having known your dad most of my life, I wholeheartedly agree. He was truly all of the things you mentioned and more. God bless you Mr. V.

  5. That's a lovely poem, Gary.
    I'm sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds to have been a really great person. My mum died 17 years ago, and my dad 11, and although I've got used to them not being around, I still miss them and probably think about them most days. It's been a huge hole in the kids' lives not having grandparents too. Losing mine and Chris's parents young (apart from Dad who married very late!) has given us both a 'seize the day' attitude which is why, like you, I follow my writing dream, even though it's tough!

  6. Frez and Steph, thanks to you both for stopping by to comment. I appreciate the sentiment and the support.

    Mike, thanks for the kind words. I know you knew him pretty well, so it is nice of you to echo my sentiments!

    Steph, thanks for the kind words on the poetry. It was something I worked pretty hard on believe it or not. that was maybe the 5th incarnation of that, which I actually began writing maybe a year and a half ago! I think that too about the grand kids that he will miss and everything. We can only play the hands we are dealt. And as I mentioned before, some people do not even have parents to miss. Those are the ones that are really missing something. At least we have memories to hang on to.

    Thanks again to both of you for sharing your thoughts.... All the best!

  7. Gary, I'm sorry for your loss. You've written a wonderful tribute to your father and I'm sure he's proud of you. Our parents never stop having an impact on our lives.

    My father died in 1999 and his death encouraged me to step away from my secure corporate job and focus on my writing. My mother was my greatest inspiration and encourager in writing my memoir. She died in 2007, just months before I had the first copies of the book in my hands. I think she knew she could go because I finally had the book done!

    I think of them all the time and your tribute to your dad brings them back to me again. Thanks for writing.

  8. Carol, thanks so much for the condolences and the empathy. I am glad that you took the chance to improve your life even though it was risky and I am sure that your parents are both proud of you as well. I am sure that they are reading your work in the afterlife and are eagerly anticipating your future work as well! I am touched that this article moved you emotionally. All the best!